BadAssIvan.com
The Official "Ivan the Terrible" Website


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Please be advised that this website, all of it's sub-sites, and all other material contained herein are the intellectual property of this website, and more specifically Kelly K. Bartram.

All references to the Federal Republic of Nassau West, or its agencies, bureaus, departments, etc., are purely fictitious, and are for entertainment purposes only!

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My Human
(Webmaster)

My Human, Kelly K. Bartram, 2009.  Photo by Chris Walsh/Alexine Photography. Kelly K. Bartram





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Ivan "the Terrible"

Ivan ''the Terrible'' Bartram camping at Woods Canyon Lake, AZ, on Sunday, October 19, 2010,  Photo by Kelly K. Bartram/kbartram.com.

The Ivan "the Terrible" pictured above joined with kbartram in the Summer of 1998 as a kitten - a dumb one at that. While he was cute, and could curl up in your hand, it was apparent pretty early that he wasn't the smartest of the litter. Perhaps that's what gives him his unique, curious personality. I think that curiousity of his has probably cashed in about six of his nine lives by now.

Ivan quickly grew from a cute kitten to the robust, portly gentleman you see before you. He used to enjoy curling up and napping in a bathroom sink. He still enjoys drinking from the sink, but can no longer curl up in one, unless it's one of those big industrial-type sinks. Currently, Ivan is a 10-year-old "oompa-loompa," weighing in at 17 pounds.

Declawed and fixed as a kitten, Ivan has never created any offspring. He does not appear to get along well with other animals, or veterinarians. The last trip to the vet resulted in an "aggressive" rating for Mr. The Terrible. Apparently, he doesn't like the thermometer being shoved up his butt. Who'd have thunk?!





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Really Useful Info

Sir Isaac Newton is credited with inventing the cat flap. Who knew?

Cats can hear ultrasonic frequencies, but are lousy at describing them.

Cat urine glows under a black light, which raises the question, "What weirdo figured that out?!"

Cats, camels, and giraffes are the only animals who walk by moving both right legs together and both left legs together. Freaks.

In America, a black cat crossing your path is considered to mean bad luck (which is, of course, stupid), but in England and parts of Asia, it is considered good luck. In Antarctica, it just shocks people.

The cat is one of the only domestic animals not mentioned in the Bible, which is weird, because you'd think they'd have been first in line for that ark.

An average 15-year-old cat has slept 10 years.

Cats cannot taste "sweet" very well.

A domestic cat can run over 30 miles per hour.

All kittens' eyes start out blue before sometimes changing color.

Many white cats with blue eyes are deaf.

A cat's body temperature is about 101.5'F.

Cats can produce more than 100 vocal sounds; dogs only about 10. Dogs are quick to point out, however, that they prefer to focus on volume.

Cats' lower jaws can't move sideways. Advantage: cows.


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"Terrible" Pics


My best friend, Mr. Alligator.


Smackin' my Hula Chickie.


Buy me some stuff from PetsMart!


Gettin' a 'dink in Seattle.


Napping in the sink.


Napping on the couch.


Enjoying "camping" with a TapLight.


Doing a routine cargo inspection.


Me with my Buds.




© 1989-2010 KKB Enterprises, Ltd.   No part of this work may be used in whole or in part by any means without the express written consent of kbartram. All copyrights not held by Kelly K. Bartram are property of their respective owners.   All rights reserved.